“I’d one girl I was chatting to online and she asked me if I wanted her to do a camera show, I said yes so off she went - I could see what she’d had for breakfast - she was an escort.

F****** disgusting.” After the Mc Donald’s disaster and several dozen more sexually explicit text messages, Dave asked me if I was looking for love with a sugar daddy.

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Posing as a hard-up student on the look out for extra money, all I had to do was upload a picture, my vital statistics, and how much cash I was looking for in return for my company. Bring costumes.” In amongst all these was 39-year-old divorced Dave* the Co Down vet - AKA the world’s worst sugar daddy - who listed himself as being worth a cool £1.25 million. “This will work because you’re getting what you want, I’m getting what I want and everyone’s happy.

Within minutes, I had been bombarded with messages and cash offers from around the world which ranged from a man in Newcastle Upon Tyne asking me to “act as his girlfriend” in front of family members, to a charmer in Donegal who wrote: “Hi, can you travel for sex? After a few messages via Seeking Arrangement, I spoke to Dave on the phone and without much polite conversation, he admitted he was a farmer, not a vet and bluntly offered me £150 a week to perform vile sex acts. “If it doesn’t work out there’s no house or kids to worry about - there’s no mess.” Following our chat, Dave sent me up a follow-up message making it very clear what he expected from me: “Are you on the pill and OK with **** that’s what I was getting at,” he wrote.

Married and 51-years-old, he fit the profile of a typical sugar daddy.

He boasted about his success and business prowess, and was keen to talk up his links to a local sports team.

When I replied that I wasn’t, he said: “Thank f*** because love don’t exist!

Lust does though I love the lust bit but hate the love bit that means ya gotta take them out, feed them, water them for the same result. Lol.” But not all the sugar daddies I met were like Dave.

He wasn’t nearly as embarrassed as he should have been.

During our chat Dave revealed he’d had two arrangements with sugar babies in the past and was looking for his third because his hectic work schedule meant he didn’t have time for a relationship.

Another difference is that other dating sites make you subscribe to read and reply to messages, but on Spark!

Genuine tall, naughty professional gent seeks good fun times.countrywide, Northern Ireland, UK ...

When he suggested we meet up, I thought he might choose a smart restaurant given his millionaire status, so I was left a little deflated when he offered to buy me a cheap coffee at a Belfast Mc Donald’s.