So if everything you’ve been doing in your emails is ineffective – if everything that comes naturally to you is too dull – what ARE you to do? The other is called Opinion Openers, where, instead of stating a “me, too” fact (You like Bruce Springsteen? ), you offer your opinion – in which your personality shines through (Hey, if The Boss is from New Jersey, how come he sounds more like Woody Guthrie than Tony Soprano when he sings? So while I will acknowledge that being hot and stupid is more effective than being ugly and fascinating, the truth lies somewhere in between.

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Things to note: Please DON’T send a list of questions in a personal email.

You’ll make your potential suitor think they’re interviewing for a job! ” is probably not going to get the kind of answer you’re actually looking for.

She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. ” She agreed, wholeheartedly.“So if a man can make you into a more engaging person by writing a witty first email, wouldn’t it make sense that you could turn a man into a more engaging person by doing the same?

I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges.“He was funny”, she said.“And how did that make a difference to you? ”“Yes, but it’s a lot easier when he says something and I can respond to him.”“I agree.

And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale.

It’s because YOU’RE making it stale, and you’re accepting stale conversation from others. If you sound like you’re presuming you’ll get an email back, you’re much more likely to get an email back. You’re not here to find out if a person will sleep with you or marry you in a first email. I think we have a lot in common – particularly our mutual love of rum punch.

If your email dialogue is flagging, it’s not simply because she’s not interested in you – it’s because you haven’t captured her imagination.

You haven’t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.

Just today, I was on the phone with a client who was sharing the same experience with me: “It wasn’t until she showed me one really GOOD email from a guy that she started to get it.