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A few minutes later, he replied, but instead of responding to my reptilian inquiry, he asked, “Are you in a wheelchair?”I kept my answer simple and told him that yes, I do use a wheelchair, but I was much more interested in the back story of the iguana.
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Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested at all, messaging back only to say: “Sorry.
The wheelchair’s a deal-breaker for me.”His blunt reply stung, but the feeling was nothing new.
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The first time I forayed into online dating, I let my wheelchair show just a little in my photos.
The good guys, I hoped, would be so taken by my clever profile and witty banter that they’d be able to look beyond my disability, if they even noticed it at all.
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But in the online dating world, my disability was my secret shame. I started gradually, making references to my disability throughout my profile, then adding photos in which my wheelchair is clearly visible. For instance, OKCupid asks users to list six things they can’t live without; one of mine is “the invention of the wheel.”Still, I found myself having to make sure that potential matches had actually picked up on the trail of clues I’d left.