In a way, it feels like they cheated on you (and you can’t get it out of your head).Unfortunately for them, they didn’t cheat on you, but they get treated as if they did.

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Say these words to them: “I’m sorry, the more I like you it just gets hard for me to think about your sexual past.

It’s just been bothering me lately, but I’m working through it.

Keep that attitude and they’ll be able to help you through it and probably ease a lot of your concerns. You keep picturing your girlfriend/boyfriend having sex with some other person — doing all of the things you’ve waited to do for so long with somebody else, as if it’s nothing — and it’s like knives through your heart. But so much for that, because now they’re gone, and you’re faced with the prospect of dating somebody who was nowhere near as good as them and has a sexual history that is five times as bad. To some people who are waiting till marriage, the virginity-factor can be all-consuming when picking a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Jealousy, hurt, anger, wounded pride, injustice…all of those feelings are going to tear at you. Especially in the early stages of waiting till marriage, finding another virgin can be so important to you that once you compromise on it (i.e., by dating somebody who’s a non-virgin), it can become all you can see.

I was wondering if sex before marriage is forbidden in the Bible. In fact, though the Bible does generally condemn sexual immorality, there is no clear prohibition against premarital sex in the Bible.

I’ve been leaning towards the thought that sin is anything that keeps you away from God’s love. The reality is that the Bible is nowhere near as clear about sex before marriage as many Christians seem to think it is.

Sometimes the more you want a person, the more their sexual past bothers you.

As the one who’s waiting for sex (doing the noble thing), the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has had sex before with one or more people may start to really piss you off.

I’m sorry for being so snippy.” Approach the discussion as if this was completely your problem, not theirs…. And now you’ve got only a faceless sea of everyone else to potentially date.

It’s something that you’re dealing with that is really no fault of their own. Afterall, they were probably expecting to have this conversation with you at some point. It’s like a million, torturous images keep flashing through your head, and your own imagination keeps inventing all new horrors for you. Now, compared to the sexual history of , maybe theirs wasn’t so bad at all. Next to them being gone from your life entirely, this stuff about their past isn’t really a big deal. Note that this point will become instantly and painfully clear when/if you actually do break up.

If you let all of your hurt, anger, and sense of injustice build up inside of you, you’re going to take it out on them whether you intend to or not. You’ll get irritable and won’t tell them what’s wrong.